LIFE IS COMPLICATED.
Life is complicated.
Disappointment abound. In partners, in parents, in pursuits even. Disappointments from loved ones who worked so hard not to - and maybe especially disappointments with yourself.
But expectations turn into well deserved appreciation. And from that, new seedlings sprout and new perspective found grow into cherry blossoms that give life transcendent beauty.
Business hopes that you gave so much of yourself to - turn out differently than you thought.
But if you let it, the lessons learned, hard as they certainly were, were worth a thousand times more.
Friendships change, grow distant, loose touch - and it can be truly heart breaking.
But you connect with people who you share more with - and new and deeper friendships bloom and fill your heart.
The waves, the highs, the lows, the ups, the downs, the never ending rollercoaster exhausts you, your eyes grow heavy, your body grows weary, your shoulders give in - and you wonder how much more you can take.
But you find your strength, strength that surprises you, and through each struggle you find your home more and more in your center and you become braver, wiser and empowered in your quiet resilience.
Aging is a bitch. For your comfort, for your opportunities and not the least of all for your fucking vanity.
But you appreciate what time you have left, and those years are sweeter, filled with more careful precious intention with how every moment of them is used.
You find yourself afraid to hope, because the disappointments of past failures have buried you so deeply - it had felt impossible to dig out.
But you do. And each time you find the courage to dream again, and those dreams are seeded of magic from the rich rich soil of those failures.
You feel lost, you feel alone, you feel hopeless.
But then an angel in human form believes in you, and from that you find belief in yourself and share in so much joy in your appreciation of them.
You worry about loss. You worry about change. You worry about regret.
But after the sorrow, you find yourself coming into a motivation in your bones, to use this time to live the life truly well lived.
You worry again. About the future, about your kids, about yourself, about the world.
But then you find yourself damn fucking exhausted from worry, and while still holding the care - you find a way to be at ease with the unknown and in doing so, you uncover your truest power - what matters most. Trust in something else. What they call faith.
You question life’s meaning, you find yourself in an emptiness you can’t navigate, you’re surprised to discover your own cynicism about the ethereal.
And in that questioning, and in the stark black emptiness of that approach, you find your way back home to your own truth about the magic from where we came. And this connects you to this glorious life for the very first time. And finally - you receive what you crave most - you wake up out of the matrix.
You struggle with living in this modern world, the pace, the disconnection, the pressures, the insanely stupid bull shit.
But you fall so deeply in love with nature and with wonderfully good human beings that you revel in it filling you up.
You pretend, you try hard, you try to put something on - never even knowing you’re doing it - just innocently and perhaps biologically - craving love and acceptance.
And through that journey you find your way back to yourself, you find what’s true and what’s real. And you treasure the hell out of it.
You’re scared, you doubt yourself, you hesitate, you hold yourself back.
But you do it anyway, and in doing it you find what you wanted and maybe needed - you become fearless, confident and freed up to flow. And it becomes less like a battle and more like a dance.
You want more, but when you finally get it, you find resistance in the transitions of it… of marriage, of holy fucking parenthood, of career, and of the settled life.
But you focus on what’s important and you grow through it, closer, creating irreplaceable, life giving bonds with those whom you choose in the process.
You realize your’e fucked up. And it sucks. And it's a problem for what feels like a very very long time. You find yourself in the same fucking problem over and over, until you get so tired of it that….
You birth the intention for change, you do the work, you push through the discomfort and you - brave brave you - become someone you fucking love.
Life is complicated.
But if it were not - would it even be worth living?
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