4 Ways You’ll Be A Better Role Model For Your Kids Without Anxiety
Updated: Dec 12, 2021
Look I was overthinking BEFORE I had kids.
And if you have kids then YOU KNOW ...
Once a new human pops out whose life and development and health you're ENTIRELY responsible for - it opens up a WHOLE NEW LEVEL of overthinking.
The mom struggle is real yo!
Don't get me wrong, it’s great to be thoughtful about the way we do things, in life and especially with our little ones, since we have such a sacred opportunity to help shape their lives.
But it can also make our anxiety worst. It’s no fault of ours, it’s a tough situation to balance and navigate.
But it’s also important to take a beat, step back and do a little self-assessment, so we have control over our way of being and how we’re affecting others. Versus it just happening subconsciously without us making that decision intentionally.
After all, we want to intentionally design our lives and not live by default right? And we want to use that powerful mind we have to create and enjoy it.
(I'll share more about how I can help you do this a little later)...
SO! Let’s do that now. By considering 4 ways You’ll Have A Better Relationship With Your Kids Without Anxiety.
1. PARENTAL PATTERNS
Growing up I always hear, ‘women become their mothers.’ And I was like that’s so stereotypical, how can they make that kind of broad-brush statement?
But the older I get the more I’m like holy crap, I AM becoming my mom!
Hahah. And I have parts of my dad too.
And obviously, apart of this is genetic, but if you really observe the things, you can tell a lot of them are learned patterns of behavior that you take on because you saw them do it.
I catch myself saying things to my child that they said to me. This is a very widely studied field of behavioral science.
So, one thing that became clear to me on my journey as a mom, is wanting to change behaviors - not just for me - but because I don’t want my son to model those behaviors that don't serve me and won't serve him.
Being free from anxiety means you find the joy in life, you love yourself and speak to yourself kindly.
Your mind motivates you to achieve what you want in life. You have a hunger and excitement to fearlessly live a fulfilling life.
And these are some of the best patterns you can model for your child.
My clients often tell me they do the work it takes to release their anxiety, not just for them, but because they don’t want to pass down the patterns they got from their parents that have held them back in life. That’s a fulfilling gift for both you and your child to enjoy.
2. THE DEEPEST CONNECTION
Our lives and our world are so busy. It’s non stop.
And whether it’s from keeping up or from wanting to get the most of it, we can spend a lot of time in our day doing ‘things’ and then when it comes time to be with our kids, were still ‘in our heads’ about those same things.
So we’re physically there, but not mentally as there as we CAN be.
It’s the element of ‘presence’ right? Being in that present moment with someone, with nature, with yourself that allows you to really deeply connect on the deepest level. Worry and overthinking robs us of that. And those moments are so rich with gifts to experience that we prevent ourselves and our loved ones from receiving.
Being free from anxiety means that we are able to be the happiest most connected and present version of ourselves.
And when we are that version of ourselves, magic can get created in the moments we share with our children.
And then it teaches them to connect with that state of themselves so that you’re both happier individually, and when you’re together. They then understand how to create that connection with others in their lives.
It’s a beautiful gift.
3. THE GIFT OF INTUITION
One of the 5 root causes I work with to help people release anxiety is intuition.
Evolutionarily speaking, anxiety is a useful tool. It helped us know when something was wrong.
And when something is right :)....
That’s a powerful tool we still possess within us.
It’s difficult to access because there are other things causing our anxiety clouding our minds, but when you release those things, you naturally live in a state of more calm.
From this place you’re better able to tell when something is not right or when it is, from a powerful guidance system within you.
This helps you to better understand and read your children. It helps you to emotionally connect even stronger, even when there are no words spoken.
It helps you to find the wisdom to deal with and navigate situations you don’t know how to (and God knows THAT comes up alot). It helps you to approach challenges with grace and wisdom to come to the best outcomes.
Not only does this help create a deeper connection, and help you guide your child through life and tough decisions, but it helps you teach them how to do that for themselves too. And that's something that will last long after we are gone.
This is a wonderful gift my mom gave me that I cherish watching my clients grow into.
There is no road map for life, the most powerful direction we have comes from that compass within - our intuition.
4. HOPE versus FEAR
When you struggle with anxiety, you live in a state of worry.
Your life choices are determined by staying in that safe little armadillo ball.
And it’s good to protect yourself, but just like I explain in my book (where I use this armadillo reference throughout), staying rolled up in a little ball in a cave keeps you technically 'safe,' but you miss everything the incredible jungle outside has to offer!
What’s the point of being ‘safe’ if you never get to experience the magic that’s here for you to experience. Is that really living?
It’s not about being reckless. It’s about not letting your life be defined by fear. It’s about allowing yourself to dream and to live those dreams.
Coming back to patterns, our children model what we teach them. How would you want them to live their lives?
The best way to encourage that is to show them first hand by example. You also get to have the added bonus of living your most fulfilling life, one without regrets filled with pride and memories.
On that note. I’d love to share with you the mantra I shared at my book launch when I got over the fear of going public about my journey with anxiety. What got me past that was the dream and hope of supporting others in theirs.
“May your decisions be led by hope and not by fear.”
If any of this speaks to you and you feel releasing anxiety is a journey you're ready to take, I would love to support you in this. Find out more about how I can help here.